2025: the year we stop commenting on other people’s weight

The holiday season is known as a time of joy, celebration, and gatherings with family and friends. For some, however, this period has become synonymous with stress. Why? Because they worry about comments about their weight.

When we haven’t seen someone in a long time, we may notice changes in their body and feel tempted to comment on them. Remarks such as “Could it be that you’ve lost weight?” or “We haven’t seen auntie in so long—wow, she’s really put on weight!” can easily slip.

But why is this sort of comment inappropriate?

According to a survey conducted in 2024, 60% of Quebecers aged 14 and over feel pressure related to their physical appearance (changing their appearance, having a “perfect” body, losing weight, having an athletic body, being muscular)[1].
This pressure may, among other things, be triggered by comments about one’s body. These comments, which sometimes come from a well-intentioned place, can still have harmful effects, such as:

• A loss of self-confidence. It is false to believe that shame is a good motivator for lasting change. On the contrary, shame can lead to avoiding certain behaviors. For example, someone may stop going to the gym out of fear of being judged by others.
• An excessive preoccupation with weight, food, and/or physical activity. This can lead to overtraining and/or the development of an eating disorder or a troubled relationship with one’s body and food.

If I’m giving a compliment, isn’t that different?

A comment like “Wow! Losing weight really looks good on you” may seem harmless. Even if such comments appear positive to us, the impact can still be negative:

• They may encourage an eating disorder or compliment the effects of an illness, such as depression or cancer.
• These comments can also reinforce the impression that people value us primarily for our appearance rather than for who we are as a person.

If I don’t make the comment directly to the person, is that better?

No, there can still be an impact. You may have just heightened your conversation partner’s concern about their own weight/body image. You should never assume that someone won’t be affected by such a remark.

If you think these reactions to such a “simple” comment are exaggerated, think again. These feelings/consequences have been confided in me countless times by my clients. A 2024 survey yielded the same results: 72% of Quebec adults who received compliments or criticisms about their weight or appearance during childhood or adolescence say that this type of comment still affects them today[2].

So, what should you do?

Weight doesn’t need to be an inevitable topic during the holidays. Find other topics and value something beyond physical appearance. Instead of discussing weight or the latest weight loss diet, talk about your hobbies, interests, projects, and challenges. Congratulate your cousin on completing her first half-marathon, your uncle on building his urban chicken coop, and your grandmother on her embroidery project. This way, you’ll have a positive impact on your loved ones and won’t invite comments about weight to the table!

How to respond to comments about your weight?

If the memo doesn’t reach your holiday gathering and you receive comments about your weight, here are some options:

1. Gentle discussion. If you feel like it—and especially if you have the energy—you can talk to the person who made the comment. You can share how it made you feel. This helps raise awareness among your loved ones.
2. Have an ally. You could also team up with a trusted person (e.g., a sister or cousin) so you don’t have to respond to a hurtful comment on your own. A well-placed remark like “Come on, Uncle, that’s none of your business!” or “Let’s talk about something more interesting” can help shift attention and move the conversation to another topic.
3. Take a moment to reflect. If you don’t have the energy or don’t feel a discussion would help, that’s completely valid too. You can simply take some time for yourself to unpack the comment and remind yourself that your worth as a person has nothing to do with your weight!

If you need support regarding your body image, reach out to our team of nutritionists. They will guide you with respect and empathy. By fostering kind, meaningful conversations focused on what truly unites us, we can make the holiday season a gentler, more inclusive, and genuinely joyful time for everyone.

[1] Équilibre (2024). Poids, alimentation et activité physique : portrait des préoccupations des québécois.es 2024. Infographie.

[2] ÉquiLibre. (2024) Préoccupations envers le poids, l’alimentation et la pratique d’activité physique. Outil de sensibilisation.

2025: the year we stop commenting on other people’s weight is a post from Nautilus Plus. The Nautilus Plus blog aims to help people in their journey to fitness through articles on training, nutrition, motivation, exercise and healthy recipes.
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